How often do we get misled by successful people? Influencers from around the world make it seem like the way to fortune is a quick and easy journey. They promise us wealth and success from the get go once you sign up for their course, read their book or attend their workshops. And doesn't it sound tempting from time to time? We are all seeking success and happiness. And when someone is convincing enough we tend to believe that all they say is true.
How often nowadays do we apologize for our acts or for how we make another person feel. I can tell you, not so often anymore and most likely not often enough. Why does it seem to be more difficult to admit our mistakes, or even to make someone else feel understood. Is it our egos that cannot handle this state of submissiveness? Or is it because we have been taught this way. But what if it indirectly helps us as well? To be able to apologize. What if it makes us all feel better and makes space to grow? To understand and forgive, to move on and learn. I believe it requires strenght to apologize. I will explain.
From time to time we might find ourselves looking back at our past and the expectations we used to have. We look at our neighbors our friends and role models and see their wealthy lives. Maybe we realize that we are not where we thought we would be by now or that we do not have what we expected to have. However, comparing ourselves to others does not make us grow or get better. It will only make us feel bad, less important or less successful. But what we see from others will mostly be their better sides. Why is that? Because we only see a very small part of what their lives look like, maybe even a few seconds. We tend to think that everything is equally as great in their lives. But.. what we forget, is that we just see what they are showing us from the outside, a brief moment of joy, an accomplishment, a new expensive purchase, or we listen to one of their success stories. But this is not all there is.
Every time I am on the plane for one of my trips, I get inspired. It is one of those moments when I do not get distracted by messages, calls, tv or anything else that we find at home or at work. I come up with new ideas, I read and I write. Without distractions, I can focus on all that is on my mind. I can then relax and reflect. I sit back, take a glass of wine (obviously depending on the time of my flight..) and I let my thoughts flow. And there I go, to my inner-self, make my analysis on life and reflect on things that have kept me busy most recently. Even though I am not crazy about flying, I try to get the most out of my time on the plane. If you want to travel, this is part of the deal, right? So I better turn the situation into something fruitful and beneficial.
I recently came across a post on Instagram, which stated that if you cannot handle stress, you cannot handle success. But is this really true? It made me think. Many job descriptions include this in their requirements nowadays and recruiters ask questions about stress resistance in interviews. But what is considered stress? Can we define stress? Does it feel the same to all of us? What is a stressful situation? Stress is described in the dictionary as follows: 'A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances'.
We grow up with the routine our parents teach us from the moment we are born. For young children a daily pattern is the basis of education and practicing discipline. Often, babies get impatient when that routine is broken, as they rely on their parents to feed them, to comfort them and to bring them to bed at a certain hour. Structure is all they know to live by during their first years with us.
One day after my birthday; one year older and one year wiser hopefully. Birthdays do feel like a new start to me, a new year of endeavors and opportunities. This year started of great with a vacation the week prior with my family, a get together with my group of friends on the night to my birthday and lots of sweet messages and phone calls. However, these days also make me look back on the previous year and where I am at in my life. This time I realized something that might be the most important lesson of this past year. With changes throughout the year workwise and situations that made me feel like self-motivation is very important, I also came to the conclusion that sometimes expectations can result in false decisions. What I mean by this is that we are very often confronted with what is expected from us and we try to live up to those. In my case for example, I studied Hotel Management and a background in hospitality and travel.. Automatically others would expect me to go for a job in that type of sector. But what if we feel different at some point about earlier decisions we took. What if I would like to make a small career change or do something that I have no experience in yet. Maybe in the first place it looks like a risk and people would act surprised. But what if I would say that my intuition says that is the best choice and that it feels exciting to start something new.
Today it is Friday and I am so ready to start the weekend. Even though I am not working for an employer currently, I still keep myself busy every day. I am working on so many small projects at the moment, it takes a lot of energy and efforts. And most work does not even pay off yet at all. I feel like I am fighting, but not sure where this battle will end. Yesterday I had a misunderstanding with a client and he wanted me to do the work all over again, even though he did not mention the task before that he had given me now. Do you know these moments when you cannot let go of a thought? It can claim your whole day, right? When something is bothering you and you feel like you should be able to fix it.. But, time to let go, because not all of it is in your hands. Earlier this week I watched a video from Gary Vaynerchuk, he is all over the internet right now and I agree on many of his statements. He mentioned in one of his videos that he just doesn't give a *** of what people think and what they say. In other words, he does not let any of it affect him in achieving his goals.
How much I love going out for dinner.. I am a real foodie, I eat almost everything and I enjoy trying new things. There are so many restaurants and tapas places to find here in Madrid. Almost too much choice to make a decision on where to go. There is an amazing eating culture here, people love to go out and spend time together while drinking and enjoying their meal or tapas. Not only during the weekends but basically the whole week you find that restaurants and bars are full. Even kids are drawn into this cultural habit at an early age. Families come together on Sundays for endless lunches and BBQ's for everyone to enjoy. In general they are very family oriented and that is quite notable. Food and drinks bring people together here. You will not easily hear a Spaniard say that he is not hungry or that it is not the time to eat, there is always an occasion for food.
Monday eve, and letting my thoughts flow, to reflect and clear my mind. I just came back from my Fitboxing class, that is my therapy, my release of stress and it puts me back on my feet. It makes me feel powerful and it grows my confidence. Oh and not to forget, obviously it makes me feel fit. I would recommend anybody to practice a sport or a hobby that allows you to not think about anything else, but just about the activity itself. I got back to my routine, focus on my work and plans to proceed with my projects and business plans. I have been in between family, travel, friends, meeting new people, and making a start on my own business. And time has been flying, I have been distracted from my goals, but also came up with some good ideas. Got inspired and motivated by people around me and learned some new insights. So now and then taking a side path can make us come back stronger than where we were before.
What is right and what is wrong? And who decides or tells us what to do. Most people have common sense of what they can do and what they shouldn't do. I mean we all know that robbing a bank is not a great idea and we are not allowed to do this, it is wrong. Of course, some extra cash is helpful but that is not the way. Not a surprise either, is that we need to pay the bill when we had a nice dinner with friends, even if we are almost broke. We need to adjust to certain rules in our society on how to behave, to not face any drastic consequences of our actions.
Ok, so here I am with my jetlag.. I should be over it already, but I am not. And that is partly my own fault. I know that I keep my brain too busy during the evening, and with the combination of adjusting to the current local time, that is not a good mix! Anyway, I love the evenings and I am guilty on postponing my 'bedtime' way too often. Not that I have a fixed bedtime, but I know when it is time to go to sleep. And yet, I will stretch the night staying up late. I somehow get inspired at those hours, maybe by all the impressions and activities of the day and the things I read. My blog ideas mostly appear at night, after dinner or even later. Consequence is, that I cannot fall asleep so easily lately. When I had a fixed job, I could somehow let go a bit easier of my thoughts. Now, I think of new ideas and plans and ask myself questions.. Which is great, but I am telling my mind I also need my sleep. 'That would be great, thank you.' I guess the more I think about falling asleep the worse it gets. I know I should have some kind of a routine to slow down my day and get ready for bed. However, I am struggling finding one and using it in time, instead of at 2:00am!
